Keep it Crispy

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
bunjywunjy
abraxas-calibrator

i recently noticed that @ jetblackcode created a really interesting tool that lets you see your tumblr stats, one of which is a comparison between the number of notes you’ve gotten on all your posts to the entire userbase! so, i figured a fun reblog game would be to put in your blog and tag which color you got:

image

i’ve colored the buckets on the histogram so that it’s easier to tell where you landed on the graph rather than just using numbers ^_^

Source: href.li
bunjywunjy
that-house

Due to centuries of cultural exchange there are a lot of similarities between the hamster religion and that of the chipmunks, both now being functionally death cults. The root of where they differ is how the two religions view this holy death.

To hamsters, death is an art form, an ever-ascending pillar of the strange and the grotesque. Hamsters seek beauty and uniqueness in death, venerating the most outlandish of the dead as saints: Our Lady of the Plumbing, Saint Tim the Blended, and Saint Ms. Cupcake Who Got Into That Barrel of Degreaser, to name a few. Through death, they connect with their god, whose immense corpse formed the world after choking to death on a stray asteroid. Hamsters will spend weeks planning their deaths and awaiting an opportunity to swan dive off this mortal coil.

Chipmunks follow a warrior’s religion. While hamsters embraced humanity as creators of new and exciting shapes and poisons, chipmunks never forsook their wild ways. Chipmunk culture idealizes the divine struggle: to face insurmountable odds and to die with honor. Only by throwing themselves under the wheels of a moving vehicle can they earn their reincarnation and escape the cruel jaws of the fox-god who awaits them in the underworld. Every chipmunk goes to their death secure in the knowledge that they have faced their fate a million times before and that they will face it a million times again.

Squirrel religion does not speak of death.

bunjywunjy
finally-figured-it-out

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

finally-figured-it-out

There once was a man from Verdun

mr-craig

There once was a man from the sticks
Whose limericks stopped at line six.
They were fine till line five
Then they took quite a dive —
But the problem is easy to fix
If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...

shredsandpatches

There once was a man

From Cork who got limericks

And haiku confused.

ruckuscauser

There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

ratgirl-big-tits

@limerickshere

fremedon

There once was a fellow named Dan,
Whose poetry never would scan.
When told this was so,
He replied, "Yes, I know--
It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

paulgadzikowski

On Tumblr did lasses and lads
Their way with fail poetry had.
You're having your fun
But you're fooling no one -
It takes skill to do something this bad.